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THE AVENGERS SUMMARY: PART 1

Nick Fury: We have this unstable thing called the Baccarat or whatever and you can tell it has unlimited energy because it GLOWS
Loki: Hey guys I'm back did you miss me
Hawkeye: I did a little
Loki: K let's see what this spear or whatever does
Spear or whatever: BAZAM MOTHERFUCKERS
Loki: Right I'll be taking your Baccarat your scientist guy and your sexiest agent
Nick Fury: Hey so we need to do that Avenger thing now
Agent Coulson: That might take a really long time
Nick Fury: Whatever do it in montage
Bruce Banner: I'm the cuddliest version of the Hulk
Capt. Amuricur: Check out my sweet ass
Black Widow: Check out my boobs they're the only one's you'll see in this movie
Iron Man: When I made that suit I had no idea it would eventually be a cockblock
Hawkeye: I'm evil rn bbl
Thor: I'm in Asgard atm
Agent Coulson: Hey Captain so I may have caressed you while you were chillin' in a chunk of ice also I designed a costume for you do you want to be friends can I take a picture with you can I touch your abs seriously just lift your shirt for a second so I can touch them
Loki: I don't always dress like a human to be inconspicuous but when I do I immediately attack a German official in the middle of a party
Capt. Amuricur: We interrupt this program to bring you AMERICA
Iron Man: Sup Captain
Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAY
LATER, IN A PLANE
Thor: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhug
Loki: Thor technically brohug doesn't apply because we're not even related
Thor: You'll always be my brother, Loki-chan. Now allow me to look deep into your eyes and invade your intimate personal space with my beard
Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAAY
Iron Man: IRON GLOMP
Thor: You wanna go motherfucker let's break the forest
Smokey the Bear: But Thor only you can prevent forest fires
Capt. Amuricur: GUYS STAWP IT
Loki: Eatspopcorn.gif
BACK AT THE FLOATING CASTLE LEGION OF DOOM
Bruce Banner: Sup
Iron Man: Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my number so call me maybe
Everyone: Shit now what the fuck do we ship
AFTER MUCH BANTER
Capt. Amuricur: What the fuck you're making nukes you nuke-makers
Bruce Banner: I am slightly ticked off
Iron Man: I think you should hulk out
Capt. Amuricur: Shut up tony or I'll invade your personal space
Iron Man: Not if I invade yours first
Capt. Amuricur: I am gonna fight you so hard later
Iron Man: You smell like justice
Everyone: GAAAAAAAAAAAY
Hawkeye: Still evil here
EXPLOSIONS OCCUR
Bruce Banner: It's not easy being green
Loki: I am escaping from my cage now
Thor: BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhug oh shit
Iron Man: Fixing things with science
Capt. Amuricur: Assisting with ab-power
Hawkeye: Fucking shit up with Arrows
Agent Coulson: Hey I'm about to be badass I hope Loki doesn't take me from behind teehee oh shit
Loki: I take people no other way
Loki: Lates Onee-san
Nick Fury: No Agent you can't die I don't know how to fill out paperwork
Agent Coulson: Tell Captain America.... I wrote.... twilight fanfiction.... about us.... shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Nick Fury: 
Agent Coulson: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Nick Fury: 
Agent Coulson: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
Everyone: He was a good man. He was a good agent. And The Avengers couldn't have existed without his sacrifice.
Everyone: Also GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
29 Jun 12   +  12,628 notes
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